God is a wise and good suzerain. He always does what is best for his vassals. Ancient Near Eastern monarchs always claimed to be good: obedient to the gods, careful for the nation’s welfare, and faithful to covenants. By contrast, vassals could disobey or even rebel. Ancient Near Eastern treaties make provision for such cases. A variety of curses may befall the rebel, but two stand out as consistently parallel concepts in the ancient Near East and the Bible, and I explore them because of their profound